Internal Struggles

It must be fall time as this is when I usually have a titanic internal struggle. This time it is huge. Some days I wonder am I on the right path? Do I need this path? If this is the right path why is it so difficult and at times fruitless? The last few weeks have been hard and on top of this now I am having struggles if I should continue to keep going to my little Hungarian parish. Father L has again changed times of mass and not brought back the 9:00 am mass. He has also cleaned house which was needed but has aligned himself with some even more questionable people then the ones he swept out and appears to be talking out of both sides of his mouth now. I will have to dig deeper into this to be sure as right now this is what appears to be on the surface.
 The other week I went to the local parish which is an English Polish parish and enjoyed the mass and it was better attended than any of the ones we have at the Hungarian Parish. To top it of it was at 8:00 am. I was home at 9:10 and had a great day with my family.
 So it is a struggle not needed right now as mentioned I am having my annual internal struggle as to where I am in God's world and if I should be there.
 Please help and pray that these things will work out because I have been praying hard. Take care and God Bless!

Twenty-sixth Sunday in Ordinary Time

Book of Ezekiel 18:25-28. 

You say, "The LORD'S way is not fair!" Hear now, house of Israel: Is it my way that is unfair, or rather, are not your ways unfair? 

When a virtuous man turns away from virtue to commit iniquity, and dies, it is because of the iniquity he committed that he must die. 

But if a wicked man, turning from the wickedness he has committed, does what is right and just, he shall preserve his life; 

since he has turned away from all the sins which he committed, he shall surely live, he shall not die. 

Psalms 25(24):4bc-5.6-7.8-9. 

Make known to me your ways, LORD; teach me your paths. 

Make known to me your ways, LORD; teach me your paths. 

Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my savior. For you I wait all the long day, because of your goodness, LORD. 

Remember your compassion and love, O LORD; for they are ages old. 

Remember no more the sins of my youth; remember me only in light of your love. 

Good and upright is the LORD, who shows sinners the way, 

Guides the humble rightly, and teaches the humble the way. 

Letter to the Philippians 2:1-11. 

If there is any encouragement in Christ, any solace in love, any participation in the Spirit, any compassion and mercy, 

complete my joy by being of the same mind, with the same love, united in heart, thinking one thing. 

Do nothing out of selfishness or out of vainglory; rather, humbly regard others as more important than yourselves, 

each looking out not for his own interests, but (also) everyone for those of others. 

Have among yourselves the same attitude that is also yours in Christ Jesus, 

Who, though he was in the form of God, did not regard equality with God something to be grasped. 

Rather, he emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, coming in human likeness; and found human in appearance, 

he humbled himself, becoming obedient to death, even death on a cross. 

Because of this, God greatly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, 

that at the name of Jesus every knee should bend, of those in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 

and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. 

Holy Gospel of Jesus Christ according to Saint Matthew 21:28-32. 

What is your opinion? A man had two sons. He came to the first and said, 'Son, go out and work in the vineyard today.'

He said in reply, 'I will not,' but afterwards he changed his mind and went. 

The man came to the other son and gave the same order. He said in reply, 'Yes, sir,' but did not go. 

Which of the two did his father's will?" They answered, "The first." Jesus said to them, "Amen, I say to you, tax collectors and prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God before you.

When John came to you in the way of righteousness, you did not believe him; but tax collectors and prostitutes did. Yet even when you saw that, you did not later change your minds and believe him.

A Prayer for Today

In you, Lord, I find all my joy and happiness. How could I offend you by chasing after fleeting success and lifeless trophies? I believe in you because you are truth itself. I hope in you because you are faithful to your promises. I love you because you have loved me first. I am a sinner; nevertheless, you have given me so many blessings. I humbly thank you.

A Thought for Today

"Pray, hope and don't worry.  Worry is useless.  God is merciful and will hear your prayer." 

 ~ St. Padre Pio of Pietrelcina  (1887 - 1968) ~

Twenty-fifth Sunday in Ordinary Time

Book of Isaiah 55:6-9.

Seek the LORD while he may be found, call him while he is near.
Let the scoundrel forsake his way, and the wicked man his thoughts; Let him turn to the LORD for mercy; to our God, who is generous in forgiving.
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways, says the LORD.
As high as the heavens are above the earth, so high are my ways above your ways and my thoughts above your thoughts.

Psalms 145(144):2-3.8-9.17-18.

Every day I will bless you; I will praise your name forever.
Great is the LORD and worthy of high praise; God's grandeur is beyond understanding.
The LORD is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in love.
The LORD is good to all, compassionate to every creature.

You, LORD, are just in all your ways, faithful in all your works.
You, LORD, are near to all who call upon you, to all who call upon you in truth.

Letter to the Philippians 1:20c-24.27a.
My eager expectation and hope is that I shall not be put to shame in any way, but that with all boldness, now as always, Christ will be magnified in my body, whether by life or by death.
For to me life is Christ, and death is gain.
If I go on living in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. And I do not know which I shall choose.
I am caught between the two. I long to depart this life and be with Christ, (for) that is far better.
Yet that I remain (in) the flesh is more necessary for your benefit.
Only, conduct yourselves in a way worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that, whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear news of you, that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind struggling together for the faith of the gospel,

Holy Gospel of Jesus Christ according to Saint Matthew 20:1-16a.

The kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out at dawn to hire laborers for his vineyard.
After agreeing with them for the usual daily wage, he sent them into his vineyard.
Going out about nine o'clock, he saw others standing idle in the marketplace,
and he said to them, 'You too go into my vineyard, and I will give you what is just.'
So they went off. (And) he went out again around noon, and around three o'clock, and did likewise.
Going out about five o'clock, he found others standing around, and said to them, 'Why do you stand here idle all day?'
They answered, 'Because no one has hired us.' He said to them, 'You too go into my vineyard.'
When it was evening the owner of the vineyard said to his foreman, 'Summon the laborers and give them their pay, beginning with the last and ending with the first.'
When those who had started about five o'clock came, each received the usual daily wage.
So when the first came, they thought that they would receive more, but each of them also got the usual wage.
And on receiving it they grumbled against the landowner,
saying, 'These last ones worked only one hour, and you have made them equal to us, who bore the day's burden and the heat.'
He said to one of them in reply, 'My friend, I am not cheating you. Did you not agree with me for the usual daily wage?
Take what is yours and go. What if I wish to give this last one the same as you?
(Or) am I not free to do as I wish with my own money? Are you envious because I am generous?'
Thus, the last will be first, and the first will be last."

A Prayer for Sunday

Lord, you are the author of life and the giver of all that is good. You are the Prince of Peace and my mainstay. You are my healer and the cure itself. I need you, and I need to give you. I love you and commit myself to you entirely, knowing you could never let me down or deceive me. Thank you for giving me your very self.

A Prayer for Today

Lord Jesus, I believe that you came into this world to redeem sinners. I hope in you and in your power to transform my soul, by your grace, from sinfulness to holiness. Lord, I love you and offer you the longings of my heart to put you truly first in my life. I want to love you with all my mind, heart, soul and strength.

The Exaltation of the Holy Cross

Book of Numbers 21:4b-9.
From Mount Hor they set out on the Red Sea road, to by-pass the land of Edom. But with their patience worn out by the journey,
the people complained against God and Moses, "Why have you brought us up from Egypt to die in this desert, where there is no food or water? We are disgusted with this wretched food!"
In punishment the LORD sent among the people saraph serpents, which bit the people so that many of them died.
Then the people came to Moses and said, "We have sinned in complaining against the LORD and you. Pray the LORD to take the serpents from us." So Moses prayed for the people,
and the LORD said to Moses, "Make a saraph and mount it on a pole, and if anyone who has been bitten looks at it, he will recover."
Moses accordingly made a bronze serpent and mounted it on a pole, and whenever anyone who had been bitten by a serpent looked at the bronze serpent, he recovered.

Psalms 78(77):1-2.34-35.36-37.38.

A maskil of Asaph. Attend, my people, to my teaching; listen to the words of my mouth.
I will open my mouth in story, drawing lessons from of old.
When he slew them, they began to seek him; they again inquired of their God.
They remembered that God was their rock, God Most High, their redeemer.

But they deceived him with their mouths, lied to him with their tongues.
Their hearts were not constant toward him; they were not faithful to his covenant.
But God is merciful and forgave their sin; he did not utterly destroy them. Time and again he turned back his anger, unwilling to unleash all his rage.

Holy Gospel of Jesus Christ according to Saint John 3:13-17.

Jesus said to Nicodemus : "No one has gone up to heaven except the one who has come down from heaven, the Son of Man.
And just as Moses lifted up the serpent in the desert, so must the Son of Man be lifted up,
so that everyone who believes in him may have eternal life."
For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life.
For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through him.

Twenty-fourth Sunday in Ordinary Time

Book of Sirach 27:30.28:1-7.

Wrath and anger are hateful things, yet the sinner hugs them tight.
The vengeful will suffer the LORD'S vengeance, for he remembers their sins in detail.
Forgive your neighbor's injustice; then when you pray, your own sins will be forgiven.
Should a man nourish anger against his fellows and expect healing from the LORD?
Should a man refuse mercy to his fellows, yet seek pardon for his own sins?
If he who is but flesh cherishes wrath, who will forgive his sins?
Remember your last days, set enmity aside; remember death and decay, and cease from sin!
Think of the commandments, hate not your neighbor; of the Most High's covenant, and overlook faults.

Psalms 103(102):1-2.3-4.9-10.11-12.

Of David. Bless the LORD, my soul; all my being, bless his holy name!
Bless the LORD, my soul; do not forget all the gifts of God,
Who pardons all your sins, heals all your ills,
Delivers your life from the pit, surrounds you with love and compassion,

God does not always rebuke, nurses no lasting anger,
Has not dealt with us as our sins merit, nor requited us as our deeds deserve.
As the heavens tower over the earth, so God's love towers over the faithful.
As far as the east is from the west, so far have our sins been removed from us.


Letter to the Romans 14:7-9.

None of us lives for oneself, and no one dies for oneself.
For if we live, we live for the Lord, and if we die, we die for the Lord; so then, whether we live or die, we are the Lord's.
For this is why Christ died and came to life, that he might be Lord of both the dead and the living.

Holy Gospel of Jesus Christ according to Saint Matthew 18:21-35.

Peter approached Jesus and asked him, «Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive him? As many as seven times?»
Jesus answered, "I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times.
That is why the kingdom of heaven may be likened to a king who decided to settle accounts with his servants.
When he began the accounting, a debtor was brought before him who owed him a huge amount.
Since he had no way of paying it back, his master ordered him to be sold, along with his wife, his children, and all his property, in payment of the debt.
At that, the servant fell down, did him homage, and said, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back in full.'
Moved with compassion the master of that servant let him go and forgave him the loan.
When that servant had left, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a much smaller amount. He seized him and started to choke him, demanding, 'Pay back what you owe.'
Falling to his knees, his fellow servant begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.'
But he refused. Instead, he had him put in prison until he paid back the debt.
Now when his fellow servants saw what had happened, they were deeply disturbed, and went to their master and reported the whole affair.
His master summoned him and said to him, 'You wicked servant! I forgave you your entire debt because you begged me to.
Should you not have had pity on your fellow servant, as I had pity on you?'
Then in anger his master handed him over to the torturers until he should pay back the whole debt.
So will my heavenly Father do to you, unless each of you forgives his brother from his heart."

Another Reading

Yesterday's first reading also grabbed my imagination and here it is;

1 Tim 1:1-2,12-14 1 Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ, according to the commandment of God our Saviour, and of Christ Jesus our hope: 2 To Timothy, his beloved son in faith. Grace, mercy, and peace from God the Father, and from Christ Jesus our Lord. 12 I give thanks who hath strengthened me, even to Christ Jesus our Lord, for that he hath counted me faithful, putting me in the ministry; 13 Who before was a blasphemer, and a persecutor, and contumelious. But I obtained the mercy of God, because I did it ignorantly in unbelief. 14 Now the grace of our Lord hath abounded exceedingly with faith and love, which is in Christ Jesus.

How many of us can relate to Paul in this, it was those lines that struck a chord in me as to how much all of us are like Paul as we try to find our way and how much our Lord is trying to guide us to the right path.

A Prayer for Today

God the Father, thank you for the gift of creation, including my own life. God the Son, thank you for redeeming me at the price of your own Body and Blood. God the Holy Spirit, thank you for being the sweet guest of my soul, enlightening my mind, strengthening my spirit and kindling the fire of your love in my heart.

Today's First Reading

The First reading for today really caught my eye and imagination and will now share with you;

Letter to the Colossians 3:1-11.

Brothers and sisters: If then you were raised with Christ, seek what is above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God.
Think of what is above, not of what is on earth.
For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.
When Christ your life appears, then you too will appear with him in glory.
Put to death, then, the parts of you that are earthly: immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and the greed that is idolatry.
Because of these the wrath of God is coming (upon the disobedient).
By these you too once conducted yourselves, when you lived in that way.
But now you must put them all away: anger, fury, malice, slander, and obscene language out of your mouths.
Stop lying to one another, since you have taken off the old self with its practices
and have put on the new self, which is being renewed, for knowledge, in the image of its creator.
Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcision and uncircumcision, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all and in all.

Twenty-third Sunday in Ordinary Time

Book of Ezekiel 33:7-9.
You, son of man, I have appointed watchman for the house of Israel; when you hear me say anything, you shall warn them for me.
If I tell the wicked man that he shall surely die, and you do not speak out to dissuade the wicked man from his way, he (the wicked man) shall die for his guilt, but I will hold you responsible for his death.
But if you warn the wicked man, trying to turn him from his way, and he refuses to turn from his way, he shall die for his guilt, but you shall save yourself.

Psalms 95(94):1-2.6-7.8-9

Come, let us sing joyfully to the LORD; cry out to the rock of our salvation.
Let us greet him with a song of praise, joyfully sing out our psalms.
Enter, let us bow down in worship; let us kneel before the LORD who made us.
For this is our God, whose people we are, God's well-tended flock. Oh, that today you would hear his voice:

Do not harden your hearts as at Meribah, as on the day of Massah in the desert.
There your ancestors tested me; they tried me though they had seen my works.

Letter to the Romans 13:8-10.

Owe nothing to anyone, except to love one another; for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.
The commandments, "You shall not commit adultery; you shall not kill; you shall not steal; you shall not covet," and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this saying, (namely) "You shall love your neighbor as yourself."
Love does no evil to the neighbor; hence, love is the fulfillment of the law.

Holy Gospel of Jesus Christ according to Saint Matthew 18:15-20.

If your brother sins (against you), go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother.
If he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, so that 'every fact may be established on the testimony of two or three witnesses.'
If he refuses to listen to them, tell the church. If he refuses to listen even to the church, then treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector.
Amen, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.
Again, (amen,) I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything for which they are to pray, it shall be granted to them by my heavenly Father.
For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them."

A Prayer For Today

Lord Jesus, I come to you once again in prayer. Even though I cannot see you, my faith tells me that you are present. You are ready to listen and desire to speak with me. Your presence gives me hope, because you are the all-powerful God, the creator of heaven and earth. You are the source of all that is good in my life. Nothing happens to me without your knowing and permitting it. My hope leads me to love. I want to be one with you in mind and heart, identifying myself with your will and your standards.